Kyle had taken his time with her and done his job, then even paid attention to her afterward, a rarity among high school boys. He really cared. Sure, ...he knew she was not his only choice, but he had to settle down eventually and she just wanted to be in the running when the time came. But she had no guarantees. It was a dangerous game very few high school seniors knew how to play. He ran his hand across her bare back up to her shoulders, focusing his attention on the subtle movements of her. I knew it was over. I wanted him to be the one to end it. I deserve to be dumped. The scarlet heart glares at me, an unblinking eye on glossy cardstock. The swords plunge deep, and the blood dripping from their exposed tips is the color of a valentine. I wonder if my blood would look that vibrant if I were to take one of the razor blades from my little utility knife and use it to slit my wrists. Up the river, not across the street. If I do this, it won’t be one of those cries for help. The. "Well?" she asks impatiently. "What are you doing? Because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing."You look down at her Algebra homework, sitting unfinished in your lap. You smile back up at her weakly. "Sorry."Taylor shakes her head. "The trip's gonna be over in fifteen minutes and you haven't even started on Megan's Spanish homework." Sorry," you say again. She's standing in the aisle while you sit next to her, so her large breasts in her tight cheerleader top are at eye level. You. 'And why am I so terrified if he touches me ... or even seesme? He knows who I am. He knows I'm really a boy and I didn't have asex change. What's the big deal?' Of course, down deep I knew exactlywhat the big deal was. My whole sense of who I was pretending to be - apretty, sexy teenage girl - was totally dependent upon me being able tokeep believing it was the truth, so that maybe I could fool myself intothinking my boyfriend also believed it was true. And having my erectpenis announce its.
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